Almost there, almost able to move normally already. It's kind of amazing to think it's happening this quickly, because at the beginning it felt like it was taking so long. Now the last few weeks are a complete blur. I guess that's what happens when you spend the vast majority of your time in the same place doing the same thing over and over again. Soon this will be like most things in life- a memory to look back on, with the specific details harder and harder to recall.
There's still soreness and difficulty with movement, but it's night and day over where it was even 2 weeks ago. I haven't used crutches in maybe 3 weeks, and the brace was officially put away today. I haven't actually used it in about that long either, actually. Walking is no problem, though trying to do it for any extended period of time is pretty difficult. I have a feeling that given my job description, it might take a little longer for me to return than most people. If I had a desk job I'd already be working again and feeling productive.
I mentioned this before, but it's just so funny how your body completely adapts to its current circumstances so easily. As soon as this whole thing is over, I'll just be back up and at 'em as if nothing had ever happened, but right now at this point I can't do hardly anything and my body's totally cool with that too. My brain is a different story, but for the most part it hasn't been that bad lately. Just have to find things to do that feel productive and worthwhile amid the mounds of unproductive wasted time.
5 weeks down, 19 to go. It's almost seeming like it might be over someday now. For awhile there it seemed like this would just be my life in perpetuity.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Day 27: Much Better
Last week at this time was pretty turrible, but it's much better now. Still frustratingly difficult to get around, but it's possible to go places relatively comfortably now, and the rehab exercises have gotten much easier. No more brace, no more crutches, just a little limping. The doc said the first month sucks, and he was right, but fortunately the first month is almost over with.
The goal for the first 3 weeks was 90 degrees of flexion (bending), and I'm well over that already. Full extension is also important, and that is somewhat more difficult but I'm almost completely there now. From everything I hear I'm ahead of schedule, which doesn't feel possible with the way things are going, but it's nice to hear at least. For the next 3 weeks the goal is walking without a limp- that's very exciting. That means returning to work and starting to exercise. I really really really cannot wait for that, it's been so annoyingly awful to just have to sit around with nothing to do. Until then it's just continuing with rehab and getting more comfortable walking. The very faint light at the end of the tunnel is getting slightly brighter. 24 week process, 20 more to go.
The goal for the first 3 weeks was 90 degrees of flexion (bending), and I'm well over that already. Full extension is also important, and that is somewhat more difficult but I'm almost completely there now. From everything I hear I'm ahead of schedule, which doesn't feel possible with the way things are going, but it's nice to hear at least. For the next 3 weeks the goal is walking without a limp- that's very exciting. That means returning to work and starting to exercise. I really really really cannot wait for that, it's been so annoyingly awful to just have to sit around with nothing to do. Until then it's just continuing with rehab and getting more comfortable walking. The very faint light at the end of the tunnel is getting slightly brighter. 24 week process, 20 more to go.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Day 20: Depression
It's not real good today. The convention was this weekend and it went as well as it could I suppose- a lot of sitting at the seat and getting sympathy from people, which makes me very uncomfortable. Taking the stairs was exhausting. Really everything was exhausting, even just walking around. It was an excellent program though, definitely worth the effort required. If not for mom, there's no way I could have gone. There will be no Spanish convention for me this week :(, just not up to it yet. So frustrating.
Not sure why, but a big depression hit today. Writing about it is already helping. It's been annoying being stuck inside so far, but today it's especially sad. I feel completely useless, unable to do much beyond basic taking-care-of-self tasks. Simply walking to the kitchen is an activity that requires preparation, and driving somewhere is an obstacle that feels insurmountable. Not to sound elitist, but I don't know how people would rather do this kind of thing than work. I couldn't take it. I can't wait to get back to work and feel like I'm contributing something to society again. No meetings, no service, no nothing- it's taking a toll. This is the last terrible week before I can start doing more intense rehab work, and I can't wait. This is awful.
Not sure why, but a big depression hit today. Writing about it is already helping. It's been annoying being stuck inside so far, but today it's especially sad. I feel completely useless, unable to do much beyond basic taking-care-of-self tasks. Simply walking to the kitchen is an activity that requires preparation, and driving somewhere is an obstacle that feels insurmountable. Not to sound elitist, but I don't know how people would rather do this kind of thing than work. I couldn't take it. I can't wait to get back to work and feel like I'm contributing something to society again. No meetings, no service, no nothing- it's taking a toll. This is the last terrible week before I can start doing more intense rehab work, and I can't wait. This is awful.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Day 14: Monotony
My surgeon told me before the operation that the first month after surgery "sucked". That's a direct quote. For the first week, I understood what he meant- fever-like symptoms, intense pain, difficulty doing anything (including simply lying on a bed), and a drug-induced haze that made it difficult to focus on anything in the world around. Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since the operation, and things are starting to shift to a second tier of sucking. The pain has largely subsided- there's still a lot of soreness, but the intense, burning, horrible stuff has largely gone away. Now begins the boredom. The recovery is right in between 2 stages- not so bad that I'm completely bed-ridden and unable to do anything, but not well enough to be up and about and mobile.
Today marked the first check-in with the surgeon post-op, and things went pretty well. The stitches were removed (meaning no more garbage bag over the leg for showering), and he seemed very encouraged by where I was at so far. I can lay my leg completely straight against the ground, and can bend it more than 90 degrees, which I guess is a very good sign only 2 weeks out from the operation. That made me feel better, because to me the last 2 weeks have felt like an eternity, and I was wondering if anything was actually being accomplished. He also gave me more pain medication, so that aforementioned soreness is no more. That's real nice.
Since we were in town for the check-in and the convention is this upcoming weekend, I decided to move back into my place and try to take care of myself from here on out. It's not going as well as I would have hoped. After a Costco run, I attempted to cook some chicken for lunch and mom had to finish it because simply walking (correction: hobbling) around the kitchen was too tiring for me, apparently. She's been really great, and if you ever need to have an operation done, I suggest having an amazing family to look out for you. I have no idea what I'd do without her.
Chicken episode aside, things have been progressing well in this little experiment. I was able to fill the polar machine myself (for icing down the knee), which is key. I just made dinner as well, and with no mom here I had to push through the fatigue. It's incredibly annoying to have something like walking to the kitchen make you feel like you've just run a marathon. I can't wait for that part to be over with.
Things are progressing about as quickly as they can, but it's still incredibly boring and frustrating. It's a 16-24 week process and I'm 2 weeks in. Just have to keep saying that over and over. The one nice thing is that the human body and mind seem able to adapt to almost any circumstance. It's really incredible- I remember my dad describing aging to me once. He used to love playing sports, but obviously as he's gotten older he can't really do much any more. He told me that, though he misses being able to run and jump around, he has no desire to actually do it right now. His body has adjusted.
I was worried that having this operation in the summer would mean I'd be itching to run outside and shoot hoops or go to the skatepark or play football, but it's been just the opposite. I'm obviously looking forward to doing all those things again, but my body and mind seem completely adjusted to the current circumstances- I have no desire to do them at the moment. I know those days will come again, but it's nice that the mind doesn't rush back into them. It's content to sit here and heal instead.
I'm 2 weeks away from things starting to feel normal again. With any luck, I'll be off the crutches in time for the Spanish convention. It's nice to see progress, even if it isn't moving as fast as I'd like.
Today marked the first check-in with the surgeon post-op, and things went pretty well. The stitches were removed (meaning no more garbage bag over the leg for showering), and he seemed very encouraged by where I was at so far. I can lay my leg completely straight against the ground, and can bend it more than 90 degrees, which I guess is a very good sign only 2 weeks out from the operation. That made me feel better, because to me the last 2 weeks have felt like an eternity, and I was wondering if anything was actually being accomplished. He also gave me more pain medication, so that aforementioned soreness is no more. That's real nice.
Since we were in town for the check-in and the convention is this upcoming weekend, I decided to move back into my place and try to take care of myself from here on out. It's not going as well as I would have hoped. After a Costco run, I attempted to cook some chicken for lunch and mom had to finish it because simply walking (correction: hobbling) around the kitchen was too tiring for me, apparently. She's been really great, and if you ever need to have an operation done, I suggest having an amazing family to look out for you. I have no idea what I'd do without her.
Chicken episode aside, things have been progressing well in this little experiment. I was able to fill the polar machine myself (for icing down the knee), which is key. I just made dinner as well, and with no mom here I had to push through the fatigue. It's incredibly annoying to have something like walking to the kitchen make you feel like you've just run a marathon. I can't wait for that part to be over with.
Things are progressing about as quickly as they can, but it's still incredibly boring and frustrating. It's a 16-24 week process and I'm 2 weeks in. Just have to keep saying that over and over. The one nice thing is that the human body and mind seem able to adapt to almost any circumstance. It's really incredible- I remember my dad describing aging to me once. He used to love playing sports, but obviously as he's gotten older he can't really do much any more. He told me that, though he misses being able to run and jump around, he has no desire to actually do it right now. His body has adjusted.
I was worried that having this operation in the summer would mean I'd be itching to run outside and shoot hoops or go to the skatepark or play football, but it's been just the opposite. I'm obviously looking forward to doing all those things again, but my body and mind seem completely adjusted to the current circumstances- I have no desire to do them at the moment. I know those days will come again, but it's nice that the mind doesn't rush back into them. It's content to sit here and heal instead.
I'm 2 weeks away from things starting to feel normal again. With any luck, I'll be off the crutches in time for the Spanish convention. It's nice to see progress, even if it isn't moving as fast as I'd like.
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